It’s only 1.30pm Saturday, but I’m already late for my date with an ITM Cup quadruple play. Canterbury is playing ... someone I can’t remember.
This national provincial championship season has been a bit like that with games stacked on top of one another across all days of the week except (a little ironically) Monday.
Of course, a couple of other codes have made Monday night football a feature of their brand, so maybe NOT playing then has become a bizarre point of difference for rugby.
Those old skool types who have advocated a return to afternoon rugby have gotten their wish to the extent it’s almost morning rugby. This Canterbury v Taranaki (as it turns out) encounter started at 12.35pm.
I’ve got a valid excuse for my tardiness – I was watching my nephew’s soccer team squander a 2-1 halftime lead to lose 4-2 across town. Rugby might be our national religion, but family has to come first.
Try to remember that.
Anyway, the red-and-blacks are putting a beating on the ‘Naki and are already up 17-0 just after halftime. It’s their best display of the season and they don’t ease up, running in a bonus-point try in the final moments for a 27-0 outcome.
The afternoon fixtures have been a godsend for people of Christchurch. Since the quakes made AMI Stadium unplayable, they’ve had to take home games to Rugby Park, where the floodlights are not up to broadcast standard as dusk falls.
Canterbury have struggled at times this season, but such is the even nature of this competition, their victory today puts them on top of the premiership table.
Personally, I don’t really care who wins the provincial titles – I’m much more interested in which players put their hands up for a chance at the next level. Canterbury wing Patrick Osborne has definitely been one of those for me, and he again shows his lethal combination of strength and speed to good effect in this outing.
I’ve also been to the gym this morning and need a shower, but Auckland v Bay of Plenty has already started, so that will have to wait until halftime.
But the signs are ominous. Twenty minutes into the game, Auckland are 7-3 up, but I can’t remember anything about the on-field action.
The highlight has been a discussion among the commentators about how long it takes to set down a scrum and I totally agree. This whole crouch-touch-pause-engage business just seems to have made this area of the game even messier than it was before.
Maybe it’s time to totally depower the scrum, rugby league style.
A few minutes into the second half – Bay up 13-10 – promising Auckland lock Liaki Moli is being stretchered off the field with a shoulder problem. I hate seeing slow-motion replays of athletes getting injured, ever since the day I watched about six different views of a guy breaking his forearm at the world wrist-wrestling championships.
Moli is replaced by Steven Luatua, who promptly scores the go-ahead try. Luatua is another to catch my eye this season, although he’s a little short (1.95m) for a lock and may end up as a blindside flanker.
It’s a beautiful day outside and most right-thinking New Zealanders are probably mowing their lawns or taking their kids to the park. But the setting sun has the audacity to drift across my TV screen and the blind must come down.
Auckland prevail 25-16, but BOP, looking unbeatable only a couple of weeks ago, blow a possible bonus point by chasing their third try instead of taking a very kickable penalty attempt in the final minute. This is their fourth loss in a row after four wins to start the comp, and the wheels are well and truly off their campaign.
SKY’s Heartland rugby coverage is on for an hour, but maybe it’s time for a little nana nap.
OK, when I nap, there’s nothing “little” about it. I’m still drifting in and out of consciousness through the first half of North Harbour v Northland, which is probably the best way to watch Harbour this season.
Any season, actually.
When they squander an 11-point lead to trail 26-23 with 20 minutes remaining, you can just sense they’re about to let another one slip. But Matt “The Monster” Leamanu strikes right back and finally, FINALLY Harbour fans have a reason to celebrate.
The last clash of the day pits championship leaders Manawatu against the team that led the premiership into this weekend, Waikato. Guided by the young inside combination of Aaron Smith and Aaron Cruden, the Turbos have been the real darlings of this competition.
Remember, too, it wasn’t that long ago that the NZRFU had consigned this outfit to the heartland wilderness, only to reverse their decision against a groundswell of opposition from the Buckethead fans.
Commentator Murray Mexted opens the coverage with another of his pearlers – a reference to the “girls on heat” in a sideline spa pool – before Manawatu runs in a couple of the tries of the season to open up a 21-3 margin midway through the first half.
The Mooloo get a couple of tries just before halftime to breathe life into their hopes, but the Turbos aren’t to be denied, running out 54-20 victors.
With 29 points, Cruden just carves up. Over the past couple of years, he has probably suffered the weight of expectation more than any other player in NZ rugby, but this ITM Cup has really been his coming out party.
Spare a thought, too, for Manawatu coach Dave Rennie, who receives a standing ovation as he made his way down to the sideline as the final seconds ticked off the clock. He’s heading to Hamilton to take over the Chiefs next summer, so tonight’s match held some special interest for him.
It’s now 9.15pm – the ITM marathon is over for today, but the Warriors kick off against Penrith in quarter of an hour. Time to get out of this bean bag and find a change of scenery for the league.
And don’t forget, if you aren’t already suffering overload, tomorrow’s rugby fest starts at 3am with the All Blacks v Springboks.
Think I’ll be sound asleep by then, dreaming of Tasman v Otago and Counties Manukau v Hawke’s Bay in the afternoon.
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